Wish-List Agent Rejection – Ouch!

Yesterday was a rough day. It started out pretty well. I got some editing done, I wrote a new chapter for a new project, and I read a fantastic book (Lillian and the Leaping Man by Ciar Cullen –check it out).

But then things went downhill. Down, down, down.

It began with a rejection to a query that I sent out earlier in the morning. The agent’s guidelines asked for a query letter, a synopsis, and 3 chapters. Exactly how they had the time to read all of that in such a short period, I don’t know, but I got a rejection that same day.

I wasn’t bothered – yet.

Then my Ipod broke. Dead. Died. Gone to the grave. So I couldn’t listen to my favorite play list as I edited. Okay, I can deal with that.

And then my central air cut out. I live in SC, so you can imagine my panic as the temperature in the house slowly but surely climbed to 80+ degrees. And of course no contractor was available to come out and look at it. OF COURSE NOT!

So that was that.

And then… at 8:18 pm, as I was sweating my figurative balls off, my phone beeped. Email!

I looked at the subject and it said Query: The Darkness of Light, from one of the few agents on my wish list.

Instantly I felt sick. It was obvious that the universe was against me that day. I groaned to my husband, and sunk down on the couch before even opening the email – but I knew.

I made a drink, sat back down, and clicked on the email which said… “Thank you for your query. Unfortunately”….

Oh, the horror! Okay, okay. I am being totally melodramatic; I know that, but still… That one hurt more than I expected.

I will confess that I did throw myself a little pity-party for the remainder of the night. I said I wouldn’t do that, but I did.

Now that I’ve gotten the first hurtful rejection over with, I will brush off my sleeves, raise my chin, and keep pushing forward.

I still have a few more agent wish list queries to go before I swallow the bottle of turpentine (kidding!).

The Beta-reader Dilemma: Are we getting a clear perspective?

I’ve been struggling with the use and feedback of beta-readers recently. I’ve always used beta-readers to review and scrutinize my work, even back in the day when I could only knock out short stories. For the most part, my readers have been friends and family.

There was a period of time, years ago, when I used to frequent online writers groups for feedback. Sometimes the critiques from these groups were helpful, but most of the time it was simply a matter of unpublished writers trying to flex their literary muscles. I even ended up with an online stalker for a while – but that’s another story.

When I’ve used beta-readers for short stories, I’ve found that there are always those willing to provide honest, helpful opinions, whether they were positive of negative. I’m tough, I can take it.

But with my manuscript I’ve had a completely different experience, and it’s confusing me.

I have farmed out my novel to about 10 different beta-readers. I selected them carefully, from friends who are avid readers, to those I believed would be brutally honest with me. The problem is not one of them had anything negative to say about my novel.

This is where my red flag goes up.

In the history of writing there has never been one piece of literature that did not have its critics. Even the most esteemed writers, legendary writers, talented writers, have critics. So where are mine?

The way I see it, one of two things could be happening here. Either my novel is a work of genius and deserves a seat next to Great Expectations, or Wuthering Heights (not likely), or my beta-readers are simply so awestruck that I wrote a novel they fail to read it with a truly critical eye.

I am going to go ahead and assume the latter is the truth, because the agents rejecting my manuscript certainly don’t seem to be as dazzled as everyone else.

I wonder if this is like the reaction I might get if I wrote a song vs. a symphony. My song might suck, and I’m pretty sure everyone would tell me if it did. But if I wrote a symphony, either people would be so impressed that I wrote one in the first place or have no clue whether it was truly good or not.

Is that what’s happening here?

I’d hoped that my editor would have some words for me, but she loved it to!

I did consider paying for a professional critique. I even identified a few published critiquers (yes, I just made that word up) that might offer me a good evaluation of my work. But I stopped short of actually doing it. Maybe it was the fear of past experience repeating itself, or the idea of paying upwards of $1500 for an opinion that I might not even agree with.

Isn’t money supposed to flow towards the writer?

Maybe an agent will be kind enough to respond to my query with some hard-truths instead of the standard form rejection. Then I might get a clear picture of what I’ve created.

And while I’m eternally grateful and humbled by the feedback I’ve gotten on my manuscript thus far, I’m not misled into believing that my work is perfect. I am certain it’s not.

Has anyone else out there struggled with the Beta-reader dilemma?

Rejection

Being that this is my first (completed in full) manuscript, my first time querying, and my first time being rejected, I’m quite surprised at how well I’m handling it, really.

Sure, when my phone makes the water-drop noise, altering me to an email, my stomach turns a little. And when I see the subject line “Query” I feel a sense of fright. And of course when I read “Thank you for your submission” I feel a momentary sense of disappointment. But here’s what I’ve learned…

A)      I love my book! I love it like a child. Technically it is my child, because that manuscript is an extension of myself. And as a good parent, in the face of rejection I find myself telling my baby, “Don’t worry about it. They don’t know what they’re missing. You’re beautiful, talented, and someday you’ll find the right person.”

B)       My book is Brad Pitt as far as I’m concerned. What do I mean by that? Well, if my book is Brad Pitt, then by querying I am sending him out on blind dates. Now, I’m pretty confident in saying that people don’t reject Brad Pitt. No way. Brad Pitt rejects people (duh). So if my ms gets a pass, it’s not because there was something wrong with my Brad Pitt. It’s because he hasn’t yet found his Angelina.

C)       And finally, I’ve learned that rejection doesn’t bother me (yet), because of the simple fact that I wrote a book. Hello! I wrote a book! An entire, chapter by chapter, 90,000 word book with sub-plots, conflict, history, love… In my personal life I don’t know one single person who can say that.

Now, I guess I should say that I have yet to receive any rejections from the agents on my “wish list,” (my Angelina Jolies). So maybe I’ll feel differently when I receive those. But as it stands right now, I’m happy that my manuscript is picky, and waiting for the right agent to fall in love with.